The Seattle Bear left a flaming grocery bag of poop on your doorstep.
The Seattle Bear watched you enter your PIN.
The Seattle Bear watched you whack it.
The Seattle Bear watched you watch her.
The Seattle Bear keyed your car.
The Seattle Bear got the last sandwich at Paseo.
The Seattle Bear banged your mom.
The Seattle Bear banged your girlfriend.
The Seattle Bear banged your mom and girlfriend.
The Seattle Bear is swine flu.
The Seattle Bear stole your Netflix DVDs then knocked over your mailbox.
The Seattle Bear told all those ladies that you have E.D.
The Seattle Bear spoiled American Idol for you.
The Seattle Bear wonders what color panties you’re wearing.
The Seattle Bear did your crossword puzzle.
The Seattle Bear isn’t ever giving those DVDs back.
The Seattle Bear put the milk back in the fridge even though it was empty.
The Seattle Bear plays the guitar shittily and still gets all the ladies.
The Seattle Bear talked through the whole movie.
The Seattle Bear is your father, Luke.
The Seattle Bear misled you into believing there were good reasons for going into Iraq.
The Seattle Bear “didn’t get your voicemail”.

The Seattle Bear is an asshole and old news.