Hey! That guy! I know that guy.
Yeah, you do. That’s Nestor Carbonell and he’s on a bunch of stuff. He seems pret-ty cool. What’s that you say? This picture doesn’t ring a bell? Well, what if I showed you his secret identity…
That’s right, bees, it’s
BATMANUEL!!!!
More like thunder man hands. But really, let’s put things into Perspective. HA!
Okay, but for reals. Not only does she have the worst case of guitar thumb I’ve ever seen (I’m looking at you number nine mister jay emm john mayer), not only does she have the man hand, but she’s also got smoker nail.
Everyone’s making fun but I suspect Chun-Li’s having some gymnast-type issues. She’s put on her freshman fifteen, so she’s smoking as an appetite suppressant and checking out the ‘roids. At least she’ll be able to put the rage to good use.
UHHHHHAMIRIGHT?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7364981.stm
Well, when a koosh ball, a mop, and a doggy love each other very much and then they engage in a three way, sometimes this happens.
Look at him! Puffing up all puffy! Ohhhhohohohohoho. He’s almost the perfect animal.
Too bad that’s not possible. Anyways, Yahoo had a list of the day where it was the ten most annoying singers. Spoiler alert! Here’s the list:
9. John Mayer
8. Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes)
7. Lily Allen
6. Devendra Banhart
5. James Blunt
4. Frankie Valli
3. Billy Corgan
2. Scott Stapp
1. Michael Bolton
I agree with number two, but I have to disagree with all the rest. I think Scott Stapp should occupy all ten spaces.
Also, this made me remember this painting:
Aytch Enn!!! Aytch Enn!!! Aytch Enn!!!
It was awesome. Aytch Why Aytch Why Aytch Why Aytch Why Aytch Why Aytch Why.
All…
you…
Sucker MC’s ain’t got nothing on me
From my grades to my lines
You can’t touch Jeffy G.
I’m a mathlete.
I’m a nerd in the first
But forget what you heard
I’m like James Bond the third
Sh-sh-sh-shaken, not stirred.
I’m Jeffy Goldblum.
The ‘G’ ain’t silent when I sneak in your door.
I’m making love to your woman on the bathroom floor.
I’m don’t play it like Shaggy
‘Cause you’ll know it was me
When the next time you see her
She’ll be like “Uhhhh! Jeffy G!”
That’s just a small rap for all of you. I sat down at my desk today and placed a pen in each hand. This work of art flowed from my right hand while a beautiful drawing of my own muscular torso emerged from my left. The glory of them both squeezed a single tear from my heart. But never more! It is the duty of your protector to remain strong.
Today, I passed what my human mentor referred to as a “B.M.” It smelt strongly of salmon (too northern for human lips) and Charlie’s pico de gallo. Yes, I do speak spanish. The windows were open in my apartment, even in these winter months. As I am a being from a species so far advanced that it requires only one of us to exist, my body temperature is nearly 212 degrees Fahrenheit. This is obviously to prevent you mortals from touching me and to facilitate the boiling of water for my instant noodle soups. Naturally, you can easily see the problem I had before me. Engulfed with the aroma of freshly grilled fish and Charlie’s “small of cat”, I found my apartment filled knee-high with felines. Every stray cat in New York City had found its way to my apartment. Strange, as I live in Los Angeles.
In any event, I did what I always do in these situations. I used the Goldblumian (no relation) method to find a solution.
Jeff..Jeff is beautiful..beautiful like a celebrity..celebrity..Ch-Ch-Charl..Charlton Heston!..Planet of the Apes..apes..damn dirty apes..damn dirty..hobos..hobos need..shelter..cat shelter!
Bingo. I knew at once what had to be done. And when Jeff Goldblum does something, he does it right. As I live in a beautiful penthouse, it was easy to decide where to place this cat shelter. I went to the roof and took an impressive stance. I called upon all the elements for this task ahead of me. I bellowed and shook the mountains when I cried to our mother “Hear me! HEAR ME! I call upon you, Nature! Hear me!” The wind blew with the force of a thousand pirate ships. The skies swirled above me and from the center, the sun shined, awaiting my request.
“Mother! There is a bunch of cats and several kittens, some fresh from the womb, in my sweet batchelor pad! Will you not help me built a suitable home for our feline bretheren? It smells!”
With a clap of thunder, the tears of the clouds began to decend upon me. At once, she agreed and sent to me many trees and slides from playgrounds long forgotten. This would not be any sort of cage ‘em up cat shelter. Nay, what began to form in front of eyes, my beautiful, beautiful eyes, was truely a cat paradise. The clouds parted and a sunset lit the sky, like the little girl in the last matrix, from the Indian family, the cute one, whose parents had to make a deal with the Merovingian so that she wouldn’t be deleted.. you know, the sunset program, like SHE (or I) had created it. And it was then that my windows birthed many a cat. Ascending up the fire escape, like the salmon which attracted them, upstream. They leaped and played and licked my body in gratitude. I bowed my head in acceptance and returned to my home with nothing but a quiet “That’ll do, pussy. That’ll do.”
Okay, so today the Tee Rex and I went up nawth to see the tulips. They weren’t exactly in full bloom but it was a pretty bomb time. Aytch Why to that. Here’s some of the awesome stuff we saw!
The tulip fields! Aren’t they beautiful!! Jae Kae Jae Kae Jae Kae.
Tee Rex liked these ones. He didn’t stomp them. One might say they please him. Muehheheheh.
Apparently, this is where ABBA is buried.
We got wormhole’d to Holland.
Oh, this! This was awesome! We stepped and the ground was like pwwwwwwwwwomp! Tee Rex was like a real live Tee Rex.
This is a daffodil field.
Check out those rims!
Mystery Field! ACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACKACK.
There it is again! AH GAHD! Maybe they grow stars and red and green shells and upside down question marks.
